The List

Ah, the New Year in full swing, fresh with the scent of anticipated change in the air.  I love the buzz of conversation about what each of our plans to become healthier or more efficient are.  What is your New Year’s Resolution? Many responses are typical: I want to eat healthier.  I am going to start a workout routine.  I am going to wake up an hour earlier. But among dozens of these resolutions, one stood out to me this year:   I want to put God #1 in my life. It’s not like I haven’t heard the statement before; it just hit me from a different angle this time.  You can often feel the tired strain of struggle mingled in these words.  As if we are asking a question rather than making a proclamation:  How does one put God first in their life? We have all made the attempt to try and prioritize   1. God, 2. Family, 3. Work,  4. Ministry, 5. Hobbies, etc.  How do we categorize God as a number within a list?  Many in spiritual leadership will encourage putting God at the top of our list then reprimand when observing a different lifestyle shown on Sunday vs. Monday.  Could it be that we perpetuate this thinking of categorizing and compartmentalizing “the spiritual” in our lives?  Can we live a more complete and consistent lifestyle?  Is He evident in all that we do?  What if God…becomes our list?  What if He transforms, inspires, and motivates all that forms our values?  What if His ways are so integrated into who we are that we become a continual manifestation, or even carry an ethos, of Him?  Should we resolve to unpack some unnecessary heaviness and focus more on Whom we are walking with rather then what number they are on our list of “so called” priorities?

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” – Jesus

ē’thŏs’: The characteristic spirit of a culture, era, or community as manifested in its beliefs and aspirations.

Fishbowl

Lately great conversation with fellow Missional leaders about getting to know our local community and culture has been thought provoking.  This subject fascinates me, so I had to bring it up again for further discussion.  A few years ago I had been noticing a significant disconnect with the Church community and our local communities.  Some questions continually surfaced like:

-          Why do most Christians seem disconnected with reality and the “world”?

-          Why does it seem that church members “protect the fortress” instead of welcoming others?

-          Why does it seem that we love traditions more than we love people?

-          Why don’t most young adults go to church anymore?

-          Why does it seem like Christians mostly use gifts, talents, and abilities in church meetings?

-          Why does it seem that Christians are afraid that “bad” culture  “of the world” will infect them?

-          Why do most “unbelievers” react to Christianity in a negative and defensive way?

Being completely submerged in Christian culture, I decided to do some research and step into the shoes of people outside of it.  For the longest time I thought that being saturated with Christian culture was all the training needed to share God’s message of love (with the exception of foreign missions).  The idea of being “separate from the world” had been misunderstood.   I had lost sight of the big picture and a connection with the very people that were in need of God’s love.  It seemed that there was an imbalance in my lifestyle.  My objectives for this study were to:

-          See from the view point of an unbeliever/ un-churched/ de-churched

-          Spend less time in Church activities/programming

-          Visit churches that I hadn’t been to before as a “new-comer”

-          Not let people know that I was a Christian or pastors wife unless they asked me

-          Take time to get to know local business owners, etc.  and listen to their story (not talking about relational evangelism)

-          Find out the real needs of our local community

It was interesting timing because my husband had recently transitioned from the role of lead pastor. As we began a one-year sabbatical, I had more ability to step outside of church walls.  I took time during my daily routine to observe and make myself more available to people.  After getting the kids off to school I was on my way to Peet’s coffee, the gym, Trader Joes and on some days the salon, etc.   Also, because we own a window cleaning company, I was in contact daily with friends, neighbors and business associates.  Over a period of months I formed deeper relationships with many of these people.   Eventually we ended up discussing spiritual matters.   It was shocking to find out how many people actually did believe in God, and even had a relationship with him, but wouldn’t step foot into a church. (For statistical information, the book Unchristian by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons is a great read) I heard a collage of similar stories of being hurt by Christian individuals or organizations.  Heartbreaking.  I met some of the most beautiful people who were aware of their need for connection with God and others, but had been left in the dark because they didn’t quite fit into the typical mold.  They expressed the following about Christians/Church:

-          They couldn’t live up to the pressure of the standards and rules

-          Sermons or music are weird and confusing

-          Judgmental

-          Hypocritical/bigoted/arrogant/dogmatic/opinionated

-          Used annoying clichés and or quoted bible verses, didn’t listen very well

-          Didn’t understand the issues and problems of the real world

-          Out of touch and sheltered

-          Always trying to “save” them

-          Narrow/ closed minded

Looking in the mirror, there were many of these distractions present in my life.  Ouch.  It was a very humbling process of unlearning some bad “Christian” habits that had become cultural barriers.   I will never forget the day when a young woman who worked at the gym came to me and said, “I know that you are a Christian or something.  You know what I like about you?  You don’t shove anything down my throat.  You’re just a great person to talk to.  I didn’t even know you were a pastor’s wife until I heard it from someone else.   Thank you for being that way.”  It’s good to know there is hope for idiots like me.

This mission trip to my town was pivotal in understanding what it means to live a Missional lifestyle.  Consider the length of training we receive for foreign missions trips.  We pay close attention to barriers such as: language, religion, clothing styles, traditions, customs, faux pas, etc.  We educate ourselves so that those ministered to understand the message clearly.  Have we become so good at being “Christians” that we have forgotten to be Christ-like?   Sad to say it, but that year spent in my community I saw more Christ-like actions than in most churches.  In defense of the Christian, I know it isn’t our intent to become like this (and of course, not all are like this).  Being raised as American consumers, we have been programmed to be quite narcissistic.  We have become the best at consuming what is good.  We see the value of God’s grace and love and we want to experience as much of it as we can- but we end up hoarding it for ourselves and forget to give it away.

If you have been asking some of these questions, let me encourage you to take some time to step outside of your Christian environments and learn more about your local culture.  (Disclaimer so I don’t get hate mail:  I am not saying that anyone should leave their church or go rouge.  We all need to be committed and connected to a community of believers for many reasons.)  Most of us, if we are honest, have become really good at loving God and ourselves, but have forgotten about loving people.   In addition to our selfishness, we are experts at identifying the bad culture in our world, but haven’t done much about contributing any good to it.  As you live among your neighbors, colleagues and friends, what positive effect do you have on them?

“…You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world.  God is not a secret to be kept.   If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you?…be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God…”  – Jesus

Everyday Heroes

I have been asked to take part in a muli-blog conversation with Anthony Prince   http://westcoastcm.wordpress.com/ Henry Zonio http://www.elementalcm.com/ and Glen Woods  www.glenwoods.wordpress.com.   Please join in!

Poverty, natural disasters, disease, abuse, neglect, depression, divorce- the list of doom and gloom goes on and on.  If you are anything like me you probably ask yourself:  Where is God in all of this?  Why doesn’t He just stop it? There are billions of hurting people on this earth and I am only one person; what could I possibly do to make a dent?

What if God had miraculous plan- and it involved you?

Ethos Project started as a small group of young adults that met in our home weekly for faith discovery and discussion.  It didn’t take long for them to express their discontent with the state of Christianity in the Church today.  They were tired of sitting on their butts Sunday after Sunday gorging themselves on bible verses, worship songs, Christian self help books—for what??   During various discussions they further expressed dissatisfaction (among other things) with the local church’s lack of engagement with our community’s culture and its needs.  How they felt like the love of Jesus had been being hoarded inside the church walls and ironically, those in need of it were kept out due to our selfishness.  We encouraged them to take their frustration and direct it into positive action instead of negative reaction.  And that they did!  I will never forget the day when one of our leaders said with deep conviction, “…guys…can we just stop talking about it and actually go DO something about it?!”  After that shift in perspective, the group meetings took on new purpose.  EP became a place of meaningful friendships and a movement of positive influence.

Although we were born into an inherently “evil” world, we were also born with the DNA of our Creator etched in our souls.  And when we join Jesus in his mission to bring hope to this world- we unlock the “superpower “of Love within all of us.  How can love make a difference our community?   It can be groceries for a struggling family. It can be a conversation with a Starbucks barista.  It can provide diapers for a year for a single mother.  It can be help moving a neighbor who was forced out of their home.  It can be replacing an elderly woman’s stairs so they are safe for her to climb.  It can be an encouraging post on Facebook.  God doesn’t have to seem so far away.

At, Ethos Project we believe that “average and ordinary” people can do extraordinary things.  We are honored to collaborate with those that believe that the smallest things can make the biggest difference.   We are inspired by those who live a lifestyle that reflects love on a daily basis.  It is like we are in the midst of…everyday heroes.

“…if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.”

www.ethosproject.info

The More We Give, The Less We Need

Daily, we hear about the state of our economy.  Everywhere we turn, there are people in great need.  All of us have been overwhelmed at one time or another with the circumstances.  Something occurred to me today:  Since we have been giving to others through Ethos Project, I have worried less and less about what I don’t have.  I have, however, thought more about what I do have.  Interesting, the more you focus on another’s pain, how quickly you forget your own.  Isn’t it funny how Love can work as an anesthetic? It can totally turn around your attitude, even in the middle of a recession!  There are things that we cannot change. But we can change the state of economy in our hearts by taking action and making a difference.  Isn’t it ironic?  The more we give, the less we need.

Shauna

Ethos Project

THOUGHTS on FAITH

THOUGHTS on FAITH

Hopefully these excerpts from some of my journals will stimulate conversation about finding faith. At the time, I thought I was having a faith-crisis. Growing up in a Christian home, being a pastor’s wife and worship leader, facing this reality was difficult. I was angry. I was desperate. I had been wrestling with certain issues of my faith and religious system for too long. I had a million questions and I had run out of answers…
~~~
Have I been asking the wrong questions? What is wrong with me? I believe in all of the fundamentals. I know most of the right answers. Or do I? Why aren’t they working for me now? 25 years of biblical knowledge and Christian cliché wasn’t substantial for this emptiness in the pit of my stomach. Church and worship services were disorienting and torturous- a two hour reminder of my mental agony. Who is going to understand how I’m feeling? Who can I talk to? Other Christians are going to think I am ‘losing my faith’. Why did I feel like I couldn’t talk about it? It was a scary, lonely place. I was going to have to dig deep within myself and start over. It was hard to admit that somewhere along the way I had acquired some bad habits, along with the good ones. A lot of the pat answers that I had were actually quite superficial and arrogant. Having an answer made me feel safe, like I was…okay…and that my beliefs were okay.

Erwin McManus said in a message Reaching Postmoderns:
“Every human being is created by God to try to make sense of life. We’re always going to be asking the question ‘why’. Here’s the problem: Christians are seen as people afraid of questions. Have you noticed that? ‘We’re the people with the answers! We’re so smart!’ You ask the question; I have the answer. Most of us when we get on television or radio debates, were answering the questions and they’re asking them. Here’s a little tip: Who ever is asking the question, that’s who is open-minded. The person who’s answering the question, that’s who is closed-minded. And if you read Jesus, he asked a lot more questions than he gave answers. In fact, maybe the great skill that we need to learn in this search for meaning is: how to ask questions until a person comes face to face with truth.”

Hearing this, God asked me a question: “Are you okay with not being okay?” And the truth that I encountered that day was that I had believed that I was the one who was responsible for making myself okay (and finding all the answers). The truth: I’m not okay. And that’s okay with God. He wasn’t afraid of my questions or doubt, only I was.

After dismantling my belief system, I was ready to reassemble with truth. I started researching with fresh eyes. I read books, articles and blogs; sought out advice from pastors and authors across the country. I formed honest relationships with people in my community who were not attending a church, and listened to their story of finding faith. Sadly, they all said the same thing: They believed there was a God, and they even believed in Jesus. But Christians didn’t act anything like Jesus and it discouraged them in their search for God. They found strange superstitions and formulas that added more expectations to their life than they could keep up with. Hmmm…the same things that I had been feeling. How typical was this? After much reflection and conversation, I realized I was not having a faith crisis at all! I was experiencing an uncomfortable shift in my thinking. A shift in the way I viewed the Christian faith, God, the Church. The more that I stopped worrying what “Christians” might have thought about me, the more I shared my story, and the more others became open to sharing theirs. Isn’t it amazing to find that the very faith I thought I was losing was the exact substance that was leading me to re-discovering it? It was not about eliminating my wavering doubt, rather it validated that faith transcends shifting structures. God lives inside of us, in spite of our doubt and confusion.

I love what Rob Bell says in his intro to the book Velvet Elvis-Repainting the Christian Faith: “Times change. God doesn’t, but times do. We learn to grow, and the world around us shifts, and the Christian faith is alive only when it is listening, morphing, innovating, letting go of whatever has gotten in the way of Jesus and embracing whatever will help us be more and more the people God wants us to be.”

~~~

I am reminded of the story of a Jewish leader named Nicodemus. He and Jesus were having a conversation about faith. Jesus told Nicodemus that for him to fully understand what true faith in God was, he had to be reborn and see the world through the eyes of a child.

“How can anyone,” said Nicodemus, “be born who has already been born and grown up? You can’t re-enter your mother’s womb and be born again.” -Gospel of John

Obviously Jesus was talking about spiritual re-birth, but it isn’t an easy concept for us to get: to be reborn. To us, to become child-like seems almost childish. In our ‘mature’ eyes, don’t we view that as weakness? And yet at the same time, isn’t it a liberating concept?

We all have a story. Your questions are different than mine. Although we will all find faith in different ways, we all have the same intrinsic needs. We all share the same fears, longings and cravings for something beyond ourselves. We don’t have to try to figure this out on our own. I encourage you to be the kind of humble person that can offer your story to help someone along their journey. The beauty of faith is that we will always be rediscovering it.

“If you’re going through that kind of intellectual pain {doubt} right now, lay it before God. The kind of dependence on God that you are exercising now, in the midst of intellectual uncertainty and confusion, may be the purest kind of faith found on planet earth. It involves an act of will and courage that I think must be far more valuable than we normally realize. It may even be heroic…. After all, to trust our beliefs about God more than we trust God- wouldn’t that be missing the point?” -Brian McLaren

Book recommendations:

A New Kind Of Christian: Brian McLaren
Unchristian: David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons
The Shack: William P. Young
Adventures In Missing The Point: Brian McLaren and Tony Compollo
The Gospels of Jesus
Jesus Wants to Save Christians: Rob Bell
A Generous Orthodoxy: Brian McLaren